An apology to all the students I have failed.

After watching this video (warning, have the tissues ready) I have had a great discussion and reflection with my colleagues about sometimes you just don't realise how much of an impact you have on the success of your students.

On the flip side though, as someone pointed out, you could make a similar video with the same emotional pull, with students that have not been as successful.

On that note, I know there are many students out there who I have "failed".

If this is you, and you are out there, I am sorry.

I am sorry to those of you that I taught in my first year or two.  You didn't get the "best" teacher. That I was (and still am) learning how to become a better teacher. To be honest with you and say that on the bad days I felt like a fish out of water and on the good days that I was merely treading water.
I am sorry that bared the brunt of my short temper in those beginning years.  I failed numerous times to stay calm. I am sorry that I yelled at you.
I am sorry that for a long time, I felt like I had to focus on NCEA results, "preparing" you for assessment after assessment after assessment and not spending time exploring how fun it can be to just "do" science.
I am sorry to those of you whom already knew all the stuff we were learning about.  I should have talked to you more and found out where else you could go with your learning.
I am sorry if you were falling behind and I never realised until too late.  I should have talked to you more and figured out a way in which we could work together to reach that understanding.

I am sorry.

And I also say thank you.

Thank you for not walking out on me (well, mostly).

I am not who I am today without all that I have tried to help learn.
And I hope you realise that I am trying to learn about this thing called teaching.  I think I still have a long way to go before I am the "best" teacher (honestly, I don't think that is a destination that my journey will ever arrive at) but I am trying to get better.  And that is a promise.

I have always said that the day I have the "perfect" lesson is the day I need to retire.  I still stand by that.

Mō taku hē, mō taku hē.

Paula.
aka Mrs Hay
aka Miss Wightman

#Educampwelly 2016 - playtime!

It's our time, Kia ora! Talofa!
It's our time - to PLAY!!!!

Now, if you want my "serious" reflection about last month's #educampwelly - check out the blogpost I wrote for work here.

This reflection is my "playtime" version....

What did I like the most about #educampwelly? the vibe - the atmosphere, the "je ne sais quoi", the people and most of all, the playtime!!

(oh, and the coffee... thanks to the awesome parents who brought the coffee cart and the AMAZING Stephen Eames @stepheneames and Angelee Jarrett @angeleeasu for keeping me caffeinated - I OWE YOU GUYS!!!)

The best thing about days and events like #educampwelly is not the tangible stuff - it is forgetting all the paper work and politics for a second and hanging out with some passionately cray and motivated people who all want to talk education and make the most for the tamaraiki their have the honour and priviliedge to work with.  If you want inspiration and faith in the education system, come and hang out at an educamp for just an hour.  You will see the dedication and love for yourself.

Change - Panoni - #word

Reflecting on last years word - BBR - Building Better Relationships - or whakawhanaungatanga as it morphed into. I really appreciated having a word/concept through which to focus my thinking and actions.  It was a real "ah-ha" moment when it became clear that whanaugatanga resonates with my whole life philosophy/education philosophy, that it is the cornerstone of all the ideas/strategies/actions that I have ever had. Phew. What a year!!!

And last year was a big year. Leaving teaching to come and work at N4L - BIG year!

Which brings me to contemplating this years word.  No pressure!

With many different items on my agenda for the year, including being part of the NAPP2016 cohort, I thought about having some word to do with leadership.  But then I was listening to the great, late David Bowie and one song reached out to me - flooding me with memories, but also hinting at some concepts for the future. #changes. Such an awesome song!

Hence, the word for the year has been decided.

CHANGE.

PANONI.

I quite like that this is a verb AND a noun.  I also took a leaf out of Philippa Antipas's blog and looked up some synonyms of CHANGE.  A few of the synonyms that I liked include DEVELOPMENT, INNOVATION, REVOLUTION, DIVERSITY, RECONSTRUCTION, REFINEMENT, VARIETY.
Likewise, I happened upon the antonyms for CHANGE - sameness, stagnation and uniformity all hit me with some negative vibes.  Words I hope to NEVER apply to my education philosophy.

So, this year, Change is in MY hands.

Educamppalmy

A late reflection!
(just like my tardiness for the event.. oops, sorry!!)
#educamppalmy

A great Manawatu day with some great educators.  The sun was shining and the ideas were flowing. It always makes my heart sing when I hear so many people actively discussing and pondering how they can make more of a difference to the education of the young people they see everyday.
A huge thanks to those who made the day happen - the event was AWESOME. Great venue, great food and drinks, and wicked connections!

My favorite quote of the day went something along the lines of...

I found this statement really interesting.  But the questions in my head still remain unanswered.

How might the leadership model in a school be changed?  Is it possible in an "old school" school system?

Do classroom teachers change their model and eventually the way the teachers work together morphs to follow suit? Or does the way the adults work together change first?

(To me it is a little like the chicken and the egg scenario)

If there are already small changes occurring within a school regarding both the in class and within the way school systems are run, how long is it before these changes become normalised?

The question still most unanswered in my head is "where can I find a school where the leadership reflects what I see in my classroom?"

My second favorite question was...

Yeah, easy... not.

What do you stand for?

This is going to be my parting shot for the department this week - and for my students to think about.

Please tell me - what do you stand for?

What makes a "good school"?

A few weeks ago, in a rare moment of being the the staff room to eat my lunch, I was part of a very interesting conversation.  One of my colleagues was talking about their partner - a primary educator - and how they were keen to be working at a particular intermediate school here in Wellington.  Here followed a discussion about primary and intermediate schools around town and how "good" schools were.
The one comment that I just couldn't let go past went something like this: "... is a good school, it doesn't have a high staff turnover."
Ummm.... okay.
I had to bite....  "Hang on. Is that the sign of a successful school? That all the staff stay there until they retire?"

The answer was a resounding "yes."  Apparently if staff feel comfortable then it is a successful, or "good" school.

I may have laughed a little.

Anyways, this discussion has made me think.  What does make a successful school? Is the school I work in a successful school?

Just a few easy questions for a Monday lunchtime!

Are NCEA results, or National Standards a tool for measuring a successful school? Perhaps they are a singular way of measuring the success - but do these results measure the success of the students, the teachers, the BOT, the senior leadership in a school, the wider school community? Do these results measure where students have started from? Where they are heading? What aspirations and dreams the students (or indeed, the teachers?) have? Do they measure the mental health and wellness of the students? the staff?

If NCEA results or National Standards are the measure of a successful school, is it okay to be comfortable with having above average results? To not question any anomalies that be hiding in the average results?

Ahh, so many questions!

How do you measure the success of a school?

Miss, I haven't learnt anything!

argh...
The last week of term, and my year 10's are sitting an end of topic assessment.  A few of the students are talking to me about how they haven't learnt anything as there is not much written in their books.
The small person inside my head is simultaneously banging their head against my skull, sighing and walking away throwing a hissy fit.

Instead, as the words are forming in my mouth about the learning outcomes we have, and the activities we have done around these - the videos we have made, the google docs we have collaboratively produced, the experiment we planned and carried out.  But before I can get a word out - the other students sitting around are chipping in for me.  PHEW! Thank goodness!

Trying something new is scary.   And it does not always work, but I tried.  And I will take on board this students comments (along with the notes she turned up with at the next lesson - photocopied from a student in another class) and those of her classmates and try and build something better with our next unit of work.

The best moment came though from another source - a parent stopped and talked to me soon after and told me something their daughter had told them.   The student was so glad to have Mrs Hay as her science teacher this year because she is such a modern teacher, she does interactive things and the student is learning so much.  (yes, I am gloating a little here, but sometimes we all need a bit of a boost!)

I don't think I have ever been called a modern teacher before!

And I think I like it!

Oh - and if anyone is interested - my two year 10's ACED their assessment! BOOM!

Reflections and Refractions

It is the almost the end of term one - and I have neglected this poor little blog in its infancy.

There have been many, many reasons - some of which are valid (in my eyes) and then there are other reasons.

But the purpose of this post is not to dwell on what has happened, but to re-boot myself.  I wish to create a complete internal reflection and refraction so that my term one craziness can appear from the outside to be a be-oot-e-fool rainbow. *science joke*

So... to reflect and refract on term one in a positive and rainbow-inducing way.

R: I will start with the best conversation I had today - with an ARCHITECT who is talking to our school community about our VISIONS FOR THE FUTURE! oh my, such fun!  So exciting to know that these conversations are happening - even if they may not be acted on for many years.  AND exciting to hear the architect (and the proprietors board) reflecting what is currently bashing about in my head regarding "modern learning environments".

O: #educampwelly was definitely a rainbow inducing moment in term one. I loved every minute of it. From being part of the organising group to setting up on Friday afternoon, to connecting with so many like-minded teachers. It was a great event, and I am proud to be part of #wellyed

Y: Launching the Awhina group at school was another bow on the rainbow. This year we had a challenge to create a model of the solar system - and watching my students, with their parents AND their younger siblings was a "warm the cockles of your heart" moment.  I am looking forward to building on this next term.

G: Being stressed about too many students in Kapa Haka (how can this be a problem??) This has been amazing - over 70 girls signed up, and still about 50 turning up for practices. Ka pai!

B: Sharing BYOD and blended learning ideas with other Science HODS at St Patrick's College - sharing practice is always a good way to recharge oneself.

I: Actually saying "no" to opportunities.  There are many possibilities that come my way, and this term I have had to realise that although I would LOVE to take on more challenges, I need to look after me first, and my students are the next major priority.

V: Having a parent pass on a comment from their daughter - that they are so happy they have me as their teacher this year because I don't just write stuff down or copy from a text book.  That she appreciates that I am a "modern teacher". Bless.

To have a rainbow, there must be rain.  And as I know, the sun needs to be behind you.
As I head into the next term, I am going to have the sun on my shoulders, the storm behind me and a rainbow in my vision.

Image from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/179229260146187402/