An apology to all the students I have failed.

After watching this video (warning, have the tissues ready) I have had a great discussion and reflection with my colleagues about sometimes you just don't realise how much of an impact you have on the success of your students.

On the flip side though, as someone pointed out, you could make a similar video with the same emotional pull, with students that have not been as successful.

On that note, I know there are many students out there who I have "failed".

If this is you, and you are out there, I am sorry.

I am sorry to those of you that I taught in my first year or two.  You didn't get the "best" teacher. That I was (and still am) learning how to become a better teacher. To be honest with you and say that on the bad days I felt like a fish out of water and on the good days that I was merely treading water.
I am sorry that bared the brunt of my short temper in those beginning years.  I failed numerous times to stay calm. I am sorry that I yelled at you.
I am sorry that for a long time, I felt like I had to focus on NCEA results, "preparing" you for assessment after assessment after assessment and not spending time exploring how fun it can be to just "do" science.
I am sorry to those of you whom already knew all the stuff we were learning about.  I should have talked to you more and found out where else you could go with your learning.
I am sorry if you were falling behind and I never realised until too late.  I should have talked to you more and figured out a way in which we could work together to reach that understanding.

I am sorry.

And I also say thank you.

Thank you for not walking out on me (well, mostly).

I am not who I am today without all that I have tried to help learn.
And I hope you realise that I am trying to learn about this thing called teaching.  I think I still have a long way to go before I am the "best" teacher (honestly, I don't think that is a destination that my journey will ever arrive at) but I am trying to get better.  And that is a promise.

I have always said that the day I have the "perfect" lesson is the day I need to retire.  I still stand by that.

Mō taku hē, mō taku hē.

Paula.
aka Mrs Hay
aka Miss Wightman